I was trying to buy groceries this afternoon when I was accosted by this disgusting abortion of a Nissan Altima in the parking lot:

I understand that people want to rice their cars, though I myself have no desire whatsoever. But, I cannot understand why anyone would want to rice their car in a stupid way. The whole point of ricing a car is to make a car look better. The primary (and most obvious) failure is the wing on the trunk. I don’t know why, but lately I have been seeing more and more wings of this style. They don’t look “hot,” “tight,” or “badass,” they look like antlers, and this car looks like a moose.

The sorry attempt at air damming is also appalling. The side skirts are ornate, but do nothing to keep any air under the car as there is a good 5 inches of open space underneath them. The rear diffuser is laudable at best. That such a car could get anywhere near the speed where a rear diffuser would be of any use is, in itself, a good laugh, but not as good a laugh as actually thinking that this skirt would do a damn thing to manage any air flow.

But the best part is his rims. They are steelies. Even my beater has alloys for the summer. If the owner had not riced his car, and instead put the money towards a nice set of wheels and vicious tires, his car would at least have something going for it, instead of countless things against it.

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