New Scientist Tech reports that French company Eurovia is developing a temperature sensitive varnish for roads. The idea is that the varnish will be applied to roadways, walkways, or any other surface that can become slippery, and turn pink when the temperature gets below freezing. The varnish would turn clear again once the temperature rose above freezing. Drivers and pedestrians would then know when the road is slippery, in “real time.”

Eurovia’s plan should work fantastically as long as you make one key assumption: anytime the temperature drops below freezing, the roads become slippery. I don’t know what kind of asphalt they use in France, but at least up here in New England, the roads don’t automatically turn into a sheet of ice when we hit freezing. That would require - get ready for it - actual ice. Obviously, there is some correlation between freezing temperatures and icy roads, but turning the road pink when the temperatures get below freezing is simply crying “wolf” for half the year. When it’s 0 degrees outside (and I mean 0 degrees Fahrenheit), I don’t need Captain Obvious telling me that it’s below freezing.

Nor does the technology take into account the affects of salt or sand on driving conditions. In New England, we put down enough salt to make the Dead Sea jealous. It takes A LOT of snow around here to form any sort of slick surface on the roads - regardless of the temperature - and then I’d know it was slippery because I could just look at the snow. In fact, since the snow would be covering the pink varnish, the varnish really wouldn’t help me at all. The only time the varnish might help would be with black ice. But, even then, black ice doesn’t form just because the road is below freezing.

Ultimately, the varnish would probably cause more accidents than it would prevent. After all, how could you not stop from laughing incessantly if the road suddenly turned pink?